Tag Archive | Top 10

Donna’s Top Ten Things to Tell Yourself in Those Moments When Your ED is Trying to Drag you Down!

When you are feeling beaten down by your eating disorder or questioning recovery, what do you say to yourself??? Here’s my top ten things to say to yourself when you feel like you need to reinforce staying in recovery.

  1. None of my problems will get better if I act on my eating disorder urges right now. Nothing ever gets better if I stay sick.
  2. Using this behavior right now is just masking the real problem. What am I trying to “accomplish” by using it? What is this urge trying to tell me?
  3. I cannot use a behavior just once and expect that I won’t want to use it again. Eating disordered behaviors are addictive. The more I use them, the more I want to use them.
  4. I need to stay stronger than my illness. I need to fight hard every single meal, every single day.
  5. I need to remember that recovery isn’t supposed to be comfortable. If I am not comfortable right now, I must be doing something right!
  6. Recovery doesn’t have to be perfect right now. I just need to do the best I possibly can in this moment.
  7. It is never too late to start over. No matter how long I have struggled, I can start my life over right now.
  8. My body doesn’t define me. I cannot hurt it through my eating disorder behaviors or other forms of self-harm. My recovery has to involve taking good care of myself – mind, body and soul.
  9. I need to eat food to nourish my body. I need to eat well each and every day for my body to be strong and healthy.
  10. I am NOT my eating disorder. My eating disorder is NOT my identity. It is an illness, not a choice but I am free and able to make the choices I need to make each and every day to get better, find my true identity and live free of this illness.
Share on Facebook

Donna’s Top Twenty Five Affirmations

Why are affirmations essential in the process of recovery?

Negative  expressions or phrases that you may use when you talk to yourself, such as “I am such a loser!”, “I am so stupid!”, “I will never get better!”, “Recover is impossible!”, can result in significantly negative consequences.

There is a considerable “cost” to your self-esteem and recovery potential. You attract what you seek. If you continually speak negatively to yourself, you will attract negativity. Negativity makes recovery harder, not easier! The extent of the negative message and associated programming into your subconscious mind can be tremendously harmful!

Positive affirmations are a very powerful tool you can use to change how you think and feel about yourself, which translates into a more positive attitude and healthier recovery-focused actions. With continuous use of positive affirmations, you will be able to reprogram your subconscious mind, changing the negatives in your recovery and your life into positives. Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you continually repeat an affirmation to yourself, your subconscious mind will make it become the truth. The most effective way to use affirmations is to constantly cultivate positive thoughts, and never let negative ones infiltrate your conscious or subconscious mind.

Make a commitment to use some of the affirmations below for your recovery from your eating disorder or make up some of your own! Experience the power and strength they will give you! (Download this list for daily viewing.)

  1. I make my own choices and decisions.
  2. I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to the things that make me happy.
  3. I am open to finding MY healthy body, whatever that may be.
  4. I am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life.
  5. I can act with confidence having a general plan, and accept that plans are open to modification.
  6. It is good enough to have done my best. I do not have to be perfect.
  7. I deserve to love and be loved.
  8. I am able to take care of myself and keep myself safe.
  9. I forgive myself for mistakes I have made in the past.
  10. I am open to receiving help and healing from others.
  11. I am committed to taking care of myself.
  12. I am open to trusting people who are trustworthy.
  13. I am committed to making changes in my life so I can become healthy.
  14. I appreciate being me.
  15. I can feel and express my needs and feelings.
  16. I am my own unique self – there is no one exactly like me.
  17. I nourish my mind, body and soul.
  18. I place my recovery at the top of my priority list each and every day.
  19. I do not give my illness power over me.
  20. I do not waste time waiting for “the other shoe to drop”. I spend my time living in the present.
  21. My thoughts determine my reality. I choose healthy and positive thoughts instead of distorted or negative ones.
  22. I do not expect others to read my mind.
  23. I do not look for excuses to stop my recovery. I persist even when recovery is at its most difficult.
  24. I only attempt to control my own actions. I do not try to control others’ actions.
  25. I choose kind, pleasant words when I speak to myself.
Share on Facebook

Top Ten Reasons to Eat Dessert

Definition of dessert: a usually sweet course or dish (as of pastry or ice cream) usually served at the end of a meal.

In my opinion, dessert is one of life’s greatest inventions. I have dessert every day, sometimes twice a day. I strongly recommend you challenge yourself when you are ready, and try to adopt a positive attitude toward this fantastic part of the meal! 

  1. Dessert is pleasurable, and one of life’s greatest achievements is pleasure.
  2. Eating dessert regularly gives those types of foods less power over you in the long run.
  3. Dessert isn’t poison. If you eat it regularly, it doesn’t take away the nutritional value of the other foods you eat.
  4. Dessert balances out a meal and gives “closure” to the meal.
  5. Eating dessert is an opportunity to experience different flavors and textures that you cannot get in other foods like vegetables, meats, and fruits.
  6. Eating dessert is an opportunity to defy your eating disorder, tell it who the “boss” is, and overcome the “guilt” that has held you hostage.
  7. Dessert is social. It is a good way to bond with others. There’s nothing better than going to an ice cream store and sharing the experience with a friend or loved one.
  8. Dessert can be an opportunity to be creative. You can make interesting concoctions that you otherwise may not have thought of.
  9. Dessert isn’t “fattening”. Remember, there is no such thing as a fattening food!
  10. Last, but not least, eating dessert is a recovery-focused step that will help you become victorious over all the myths and misconceptions that you have held onto while you have had your illness!
Share on Facebook

Intuitive Eating

This topic is so broad it would take an entire book to cover all the characteristics. I just want to discuss appropriateness of this type of eating in recovery. I feel like so many of you want to try it but get worried because it is a concept that is foreign. So, first and foremost, when you are ready, you will hopefully know. Or, you and your treatment team will know. If you are not ready, there isn’t a “race” to get there. I think some people look at it as the end point of their recovery, a point of no return, and that alone brings up fear. Some people have asked me, “what if I go out of control because I can’t do it? What if I gain too much weight because I can’t trust my inner cues or they are wrong? What if I choose all the ‘wrong’ foods and then I can’t turn back? ” and the most common question is “What if my intuitive eating makes me gets me to my natural weight and it is higher than I like?”

What if, what if, what if????? All these “what if’s” are a huge obstacle but they sometimes also demonstrate a lack of readiness and fear. If you have a bunch of “what if’s” about intuitive eating, DON’T discuss it with the eating disordered part of your mind. Your eating disorder will turn it into a “fear fest”. Discuss it with your treatment team, especially your nutritionist.

If you have had an eating disorder for any length of time, your eating has been “from the neck up”. What do I mean by this? Your eating has been guided by your head only – your thoughts, your rules, your emotions, your past experiences, your disordered fears…not by your normal natural physiological mind-body cues. If you have restricted, binged, compulsively overeaten, purged, taken any appetite-suppressing substances or laxatives, overexercised, or a combination of these, you have “short-circuited” your natural means of detecting hunger, fullness and appetite. So, as a result of this short-circuiting, you will need to learn the skill that non-disordered people exhibit normally, until it actually becomes intuitive.

When are you supposed to do this and how are you supposed to do this??? It varies person to person but you can only expect to start the process when you are well-supported by your team. You cannot begin if you are at an extremely low weight or are using eating disordered behaviors regularly. You must be medically stable for a good stretch of time and should be eating consistently (perhaps on a meal plan). Also, you have to do this when you are confident that you have the ability to separate your emotions from your eating. You must also realize that you will make mistakes along the way. Sometimes you will eat too much and feel too full (scary) and sometimes you will undereat and want more (clearly a risk if you are not ready). This is an essential part of the process. No one learns how to intuitively eat “perfectly” without making mistakes.

Also, I like to look at the parallels between what you do with your food and where you are in developing your life skills as an indication of your readiness. So, as far as intuitive eating is concerned, when you are being more intuitive (guided by your gut instincts) in other areas of your life and trusting yourself with decisions regarding relationships, feelings, self-care, boundaries, etc, you will be more equipped to develop your intuitive skills regarding your eating. Overall, you will be living a more trusting relationship with yourself.

Please remember that recovery is a process (I feel like I say this so often!) and you need to know where you are in the process. I want you all to be able to trust your process and unquestionably get to the point where you can trust your true self! Just try to stay focused on where you currently are in your recovery and take the baby steps that are in front of you.

Below are the 10 Intuitive Eating Principles, by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch, authors of Intuitive Eating

1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.
2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.
3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.
4. Challenge the Food Police Scream a loud “NO” to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating under 1000 calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created. The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.
5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you’re comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?
6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence–the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you’ve had “enough”.
7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort, nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You’ll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.
8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.
9. Exercise–Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it’s usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.
10. Honor Your Health–Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and taste buds while making you feel well. Remember that you don’t have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It’s what you eat consistently over time that matters; progress not perfection is what counts.

Share on Facebook

Donna’s Top Ten Reasons Not to Diet

Share on Facebook

Donna’s Top Ten: Defining Recovery

Below are my top ten definitions of the qualities that will help you in your recovery.

Print them and post them all over your house, in your room, in your car, in your kitchen, in your journal or wherever you made need to remind yourself of them!!

If you have any words that represent the qualities you feel you need in your recovery, please let us know!!!

 

 

Share on Facebook

Top Ten Ways To Eat Pretzels

Share on Facebook